Loaded topic for sure.
Modeling is what you make of it. No more, no less. As with any other hobby or pastime. You see the very sort of thing you describe with any other hobby activity today.
I see the attitude of "well, you're not a real (insert your favorite hobby here) unless you do (this) or (that) and no one can take you seriously" with R/C, model railroading, shooting, rocketry or whatever. ( I happened to list other hobbies I'm active in) EVERY (and I mean EVERY) activity has its self-appointed experts on what they think the ideal participant should be like and what sort of behaviors they should exhibit.
I really think the increased proliferation of the internet has fostered this outlook. The web has the ability to make anyone an 'exspurt' and provide them with a platform to make their proclamations from. I have also seen whereby if you are seen as a 'casual modeler' you are literally shouted down and browbeat by the vocal few who sometimes take their hobby waayyyy to seriously. Perhaps it's the feeling of anonymity by hiding behind a monitor screen or lack of social skills, a superiority complex or just a bully attitude. I'm not sure but in the past 10 years it's got more and more pervasive. There is a constant NEED for some folks to make sure others know that they are ALWAYS correct and that THEIR word is gospel and that THEIRS is the only true path to enlightenment.
There's room enough for everyone in what we do. Unfortunately not everyone feels that way and that's a shame. I'm glad there are 'rivet counters' and hyper-enthusiastic subject matter experts and aftermarket resin/decal/PE makers. In the end however, it's my choice what I want to do with my model and how I build it. Does that make me less of a modeler? No. But the sad fact is there are those out there, in this and every other hobby, that feel you need to conform to their ideal of what a real 'modeler' is.
As far as 'kit collecting' that's really an individuals choice. I know I'm guilty of it. But I do it more from experience that if I don't get a certain kit I want now it may not be available later. Will I be able to build all I have in my stash? Not a chance. But I also have a crapload of RC planes and model railroad stuff in my stash that I know I won't get to either. I know other guys that collect guns or ammunition like there's no tomorrow but that's them. I don't judge them for what they do. Their money, their choice.
And finally, I don't know of ANY kit maker that has ever made 'the perfect kit' that doesn't have some sort of problem or issue. I have issue with the price I may have to pay for the level of quality I receive. But I have that expectation with anything that I buy, from toaster ovens to large screen TV's to automobiles. So I read reviews, consult my pocketbook and then make a decision. Once again a personal choice. But sadly there are those out there who want to make the choice for me because THEY don't feel I'm a competent enough modeler to do so and THEY need to shout it at me over and over and over and over until I capitulate and tell them just how awesome they are for making the hard decisions for me in my life. No, I don't think so...thank you very much.
The late Al Superczynski said it best; "It's YOUR model, build it the way YOU want." Wise words that only a few in our community cannot seem to grasp.