Totally off-topic – A dogs view of life
As seen in a dog’s diary:
8am – Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am – Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite
10am – Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am – Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon – Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1pm – Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm – Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm – Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5pm – Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm – Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
9pm – Oh Boy! Sleeping in master’s bed! My favorite!
As seen in a cat’s diary:
Day 183 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Day 184 of captivity:
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded — must try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I
once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair — must try this
on their bed.
Day 185 of captivity:
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat
I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
Day 186 of captivity:
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell
the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY
power of “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
Day 187 of captivity:
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies! and maybe snitches. The
dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an
informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety
is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time…
(…I’ll get my coat!)
1 additional image. Click to enlarge.